We talked earlier about our freedom to choose between stimulus and response.
However, it sometimes doesn’t feel like we have this
freedom.
There are these moments when someone acts in a certain way and you automatically get
into protection mode.
These situations are sometimes called hot buttons.
Or, more scientifically,
we say that an amygdala hijack occurs.
An amygdala hijack can occur when a threat is perceived.
This can be minor or major, physical or emotional,
depending on the person and situation. Take the following example.
You are tasked with an initiative that will take you a lot of work.
The value of this work is unclear, so you ask why this initiative is pursued.
You colleague reacts angrily to your inquiry.
In this instance, you might feel threatened.
It sounds like another time I had to put all my energy into a pointless piece of work.
Because of this perceived threat, your amygdala might kick in and take over
your behavior, eliminating your usual freedom to choose your
response wisely.
Your amygdala might go on the offensive, overstating the case or raising your voice,
creating tension between you and your colleagues.
Only 6-10 seconds later, you come back to your senses.
Your neocortex takes over.
However, you might regret what you have said and have
seriously damaged the relationship with your colleague. This phenomenon is called the amygdala
hijack.
The amygdala hijack is triggered by a perceived threat.
This can be a real life threat, or a coworker reacting angrily to your question.
The only way to come out of the amygdala hijack is by activating the neocortex. Let’s now
dive in how you can prevent this scenario and create an alternative,
desired scenario.
The key is realizing that you are feeling threatened early on and keeping your neocortex
in control.
You can do this by pausing and asking yourself rational questions.
Then you can decide on an appropriate action, leading to a more desired outcome.
Let’s now do an exercise to discover and anticipate your own hot buttons and amygdala
hijacks.
Think about a situation in the past 6 months where you did something you immediately regretted.
Deconstruct the situation: was there a perceived threat?
When did you start to feel this emotion?
Why did you feel threatened?
What did you do?
What were the consequences?
Now think about what you would have liked to have done.
At what moment should you have paused?
What should have been the question to ask yourself?
What should have been your response to the situation and what would have been the probable
outcome?
Now think about the future.
What kind of situations are prone to similar amygdala hijacks?
What should you do to prevent them?
Write down your findings in your workbook.